Category: Dating and Relationships
Is phone sex considered cheating? Personally, I just think it's an enhanced form of masturbation...thoughts?
I agree. you aren't harming anyone, and nobody is getting pregnant, but several girls I have talked to say its cheating, and of course they're religious nuts, they'll say anything like that.
um yeah, I think it is cheating. It may not be physical, but it is mental. I mean you are having the thaughts of the person I'm sure. I for one have never done it, and don't know how you could get anything out of it. But, put yourself in your partner's shoes. Would you like to get on the pc and find your partner on there engaging in sex talk?
my bad, I wasn't done with that one ! hehehehehehehehahaha! But, anyway, i know you said the phone, but cyber sex is the same thing. so yeah, i think of it as cheating. And I'm not some religious freak as you put it! smile- angel
i agree with angel77, yes it is cheating.
oh my bad again, you said religious nuts not freaks! heheheheheheheahahahahaha! smile- angel
I think it depends; why don't you ask your partner if phone sex is cheating? To me, asking your partner would be the right thing to do. I enjoy a relationship where there are no secrets, and we both trust each other more because we tell each other the rough, embarrassing stuff other people would hide or toss under the rug.
I don't think it is cheating at all. I mean, who said you couldn't have thought about anyone else. People do it all the time, and yet they are not cheating. They are not doing anything physical with anyone. But, again, that is just my oppinion, and yes I have had phone sex before, and many say I am pretty good at it. Anyway, sorry I don't think you all wanted to know that.
I agree. It depends on the partners involved. Another thing that has not been brought up. I have heard of partners having phone sex with each other when apart. Of course, not sure if the person originating this topic was referring to the act, or the service. lol
I'd say it would be cheating if you had deliberately setout to do it, knowing full well that you would have had sex with this person had they been in the room...
Well those who think it is not cheating answer this, why would you want to have phone sex with someone who is not your partner? And as Goblin pointed out above, if you are prepared to have phone sex with that person, then surely you would have actual sex with them if you were in a room together. I personally cannot see the appeal, but I’m guessing it is something you would only engage in with someone you had fairly strong feelings for? So that being the case, would already indicate that you had unfaithful thoughts, so in that instance it is definitely cheating in my view. If on the other hand it is something that you would engage in because it is something you enjoy and your partner is not prepared to do it for you, well where would you draw the line, if your partner was say not prepared to give you oral sex, do you think that is acceptable to go and get that somewhere else as well?
Sugarbaby, it sounds like the person who asked considers phone sex to be a casual experience. Of course, the very definition of cheating has to do with breaking your partner's trust. That's what my definition is, anyway. I, personally, wouldn't have phone sex with someone else, though I have trivially thought of someone else's voice, or a particularly sexy song on the radio, when by mmyself, and we don't consider that cheating.
ah yeah but we've all done that. we wouldn't be human if we didn't find someone else attractive, it if you act on that atraction that it becomes wrong in my view. however, some couples to have so called open relationships where both partners, although together, are free to see other people. personally I can't understand why anyone would want to do that, but I guess as long as both partners are aware of the situation, and both agree, then it can't hurt them. It's when you do things without telling your partner about them ... these people who have phone sex with someone other than their partners, do the partners know? because if not, they must consider it to be at least a bit wrong, or at least realize that the partner might not be accepting of it.
I've noticed that some people think of phone sex as something meaningless, casual, like masturbation, as the first post indicates. I think because it involves direct interaction with another person in a sexual way, it's a bit more meaningful than that though, just my opinion.
Well, it's like this. How many times guys have you been walking around somewhere, or watching tv, or at school and you hear the voice of a hot girl, and y0ou start thinking about her, and then you push that thought away because you've got a girlfriend? Women, how many times have you seen or heard the hot sounding voice of a guy and just gotten absolutely soked in the panties, but then felt guilty later because you had a boyfriend? Ok, we've established that all of us do that, but let's say that you're home later, and you're masterbating, and you find yourself thinking about that atractive person that you met earlier that day. That's not cheating, because you can't control your thoughts, therefore, phonesex isn't cheating either, it can get expensive, trust me, I speak from personal experience on that one, but it's not cheating. Besides, if your partner doesn't satisfy you enough to where you need to find it on the other end of a phoneline, then you need to rethink that relationship.
I agree with the end of Mr. Boomstick's post. But personally, I'd rather stick it out till I can get the real thing. Phone sex just don't do it for the min min. haha
Of course you can redirect your thoughts while you masturbate, or at any other time, which isn't the same as controlling the initial thought in the first place. Nevertheless, we do have choices whether to have a drawn out fantasy about someone else or not. We can choose to go with the initial thought or not. Of course, the other question is, would you want to redirect them *all the time*? Personally, I would say no.
If you're in a relationship, and both of you are into phone sex, so much the better. In the end it's all up to communication and what you and your partner view as acceptable acts. Communication is key.
to the one that said masterbaiting while thinking of the sexy man or women you just seen walking down the street , is not cheating, but um, say you call her or him and have phone sex, i consider that cheating. I mean when you are doing it alone, you may be thinking of her, but your not acting on that feeling and sharing it with him or her. I also agree with those that say it is up to the relationship whether it is cheating or not. But the question was what did we think about it. smile- angel
exactly Angel, i mean we're all human and possibly have all thought of someone else in what some might consider to be an inappropriate manner, but if that someone else doesn't know about it, then technically, you've not done anything wrong, but if you make your feelings/thoughts clear to that other person, then they are involved as well.
I don't think it's cheating. And the person who said if they were there you'd do the real thing in essence, I beg to differ. My partner and I are totally ok with this kind of thing. We totally trust each other for one thing, we view it as just a healthy add in to our relationship; after all, we can talk about it, and know where the other is coming from on many issues, and we're not denying human nature in ourselves...Also, my partner is sighted, and he sees me cybering or doing phone sex as him watching a porne video.
each to his own.
To me, phonecyber is different than pornbecause it's interactive;you're having some type of relations with that person. I really don't know what to think as for whetherI personally would consider phone sex cheating. It would depend on the situation for me.
For me personally, phone sex has absolutely no appeal. I mean, being the kind of person I am, I'd either laugh or think it's stupid if i... were in that situation. Not to decry those who have done it, or who like it, but I tend to aggree with some on here that if you're having phone sex with some one other than your partner, that's not right. I mean, if you have phone sex, what would you do if they were in the room? And, in that case, if you weren't going to do anything with them, why bother having phone sex at all? If you're with some one, isn't that one some one enough? I'm not trying to put anyone down, smiley, just puttin' in my two cents.
I think phone sex is cheating. You're engaging another person--so I don't think that's masturbation. Your mental capacity is including them sexually...anyway, phone sex can be fun, as long as you're doing it with someone who knows how and you can somehow connect with.
-Skyla~
I definitely think it's a no-go zone if you're not in a relationship with the person. and I do consider it a form of cheating, but as some have said, mental of course! it all should come down to the mental/emotional feelings anyway the whole sex thinggy. However, if someone did it in the heat of the moment, it's something not really worth confessing too I feel. at least I don't think it's as necessary as of course, face-to-face cheating.
Of course it's cheating!!! I personally think the same way as some have said, if you are having phone sex, you most likely are willing to do it in person. If my partner ever...well he wouldn't...but if he did, I'd, well, not appropriate for this board or any other. Admins would have to erase it, but you all get the general idea. I'm a one man woman, and I have a one woman man, and that's in all areas. Any sexual act, be it over the phone, net, in person ETC. Hell, for that matter, I wouldn't even flert with anyone else. That's how loyal and faithfull I am. I'm not critasizing anyone here, Each to his/her own, but this is my oppinion.
hey ITM, no, in fact the admins wouldn't erase it because it's freedom of speech here their policy equals! .. so basically they allow you to say absolutely anything as long as it's not the safe Haven boards.
I can not see me doing that. I think I will never have phone sex, it's - I don'T know, but I think it's really a waste of time.
I don't think it's cheatting but it is sure silly
it is cheating if you're with someone
I can understand why someone would trun to it if there partner wasn't into it and they had some distance between them. It is an extension of masturbation, cuz well masturbation on its own can get boring at times. Whetehr or not thats cheating though depends on your relationship and and how your partner views it. Personally i would work more on opening up my partner to trying it than just looking else where.
Ok i dont think it's cheating if you're single, or you like someone, and want to b their friend with benifits
um, duh. surely it's not cheating if your single. um duh. that's a given isn't it? heheheh
Is it possible to cheat if your single? Isn't that like being pregnant while not being pregnant, or a bald man having grey hair, or a flat chested woman with large breasts or something? I can't think of a good analogy, but isn't it polar opposites?
I think it is cheating. If your in a relationship, you should be dedicated to that person. you should not be desiring sex with another, if you are, why be in the relationship in the first place?
I have no luck on that yet. so I can't say any opinion about it. lol.
Raaj.
As one who has had phone sex with someone they love, and also one who has had that someone turn around and have it with someone else, I would definately say yes, it is cheating. As countless others have already said, you are engaging in a sexual experience with another human being. While it's true that sometimes we find someone attractive who isn't our boy/girlfriend, it's what we do with those thoughts that matters most. Jesus said (paraphrasing) "One who looks on another woman with lust in his heart has already comited adultary with her in his heart." Obviously that goes for women too. What I think that means is that, while we may think someone else is attractive, it is up to us to not pursue those thoughts. So if you engage in phone sex with another human being, you are basically slapping your boy/girlfriend in the face. If you need to engage in phone sex, cyber sex or even text-sex (not sure if that even exists) with someone else then perhaps you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. Think of it this way, would you want your partner doing that with someone else, getting excited and somewhat satisfied from the words and mental stimulation of someone who isn't you?
I rest my case.
Guardian
cody well put :)
I totally agree with Post 37. To me, cybering, phone sex, and intentionally flirting with another person besides your bf/gf/spouse are all considered cheating. I feel like if you liked someone enough to want to have and commit yourself to another person as boyfriend/girlfriend, then they are the ones you should be wanting to give that attention to. To me, cybering, phone sex, and romantic flirting with anyone else must mean that that person is only thinking about him/herself, and that he/she doesn't value their partner enough to wait for them.